A Change of Heart

This Blog has helped me reach a catharsis in my thinking along with self-therapy and I have come to the realization that this blog was built on an idea that has no real bearing in my inner-self.  The Blog will now be more free fun and random and will not try to achieve any idea, but rather, will continue to example my individual self for the internet to witness.

Ketamine and Imprinting Zen

The art of Zen is ancient and derives from mainstream Buddhism.  It focuses less on doctrine and practice and puts the focuses directly in the present on normal actions and through increased consciousness of one's normal actions one's self begins to see reality for what it really is.  The stages of Zen are well communicated in this Zen haiku.

First there is a mountain
Then there is no mountain
Then there is

One first becomes conscious of their interior verbalization and categorization of the outside world.  Then one slowly comes to realize that they are in control of their interior response to the outside world and may reduce it to nothing if they wish.  Finally one realizes the inherent intercourse between these two perspectives then, the objective outside world and reality can then be seen as an alchemical union between the inner creative subjective experience and the objective material experience.

Ketamine is a dissociative analgesic that has long been used in surgery yet in the last few decades has gained prominence as a meta-programming chemical.  Meta-programming refers to the self-directed programming of mind that occurs when one is able to abstract their thinking processes above their normal consciousness in order to re-arrange and streamline one's conscious train of thought.  Ketamine numbs the self from the signals sent from the body and in doing this stretches out time as the mind attempts to fill in the holes of sensory information that the body is numb to.  In relation to the dose of Ketamine administered one may enter a reality that is more their own mind coupled with reality or they may experience a "K-Hole" where they are completely physically incapacitated yet their mind remains active within their own imagination.  These peak K-hole experiences feel as is they last for an eternity as time breaks within the subjective inner realm.  In reality the experience rarely lasts more than 45minutes to an hour.
In order for Ketamine to aid in Zen practice one must have a working Zen practice before dosing Ketamine.  During the experience the mind will not be able to control the body.  The mind and body will operate independently yet autonomously.  Any attempt to use top-down control of mind over body will result in a comical OCD-like repetitive physical action.  A friend of mine on his first Ketamine experience attempted to climb over the railing on his porch, an action he performs several times each day.  Because he had no knowledge of Zen and still operates from a mind controlling body perspective he hilariously attempted to move his leg over the railing a dozen times before he was aided by nearby onlookers.
My first experiences of K I was paralyzed but as I became acclimated to my mind and body operating independently I realized the body's inherent knowledge in navigating the environment only needed directions from the mind, not constant guidance.  The dissociative properties of K also aid in one realizing the Is-ness of the world without relation to thought patterns or preconceived notions.  When one returns from the hour long sojourn into the imagination they find that the world is more beautiful and complete than when they left it.  Goes to show that one cannot appreciate something until they lose it.  In this vein Ketamine is an aid to die before you die so that upon your return you may appreciate the world for what it is in all its glory without covering it in ideas.  Ketamine also gives one time to organize information from more conventional mushroom or acid trips because when removed from the body and embedded in the mind absorption of this information is more easily performed.  A truly interesting chemical.  The most famous K-head ever was an extremely interesting man, John C. Lilly. 

Are we Having Fun Yet?

When gauging the wellness of the world media and governments use ridiculous abstractions such as GDP or National Indexes.  I believe the much simpler question of, "Are you having fun?" would be a better method of discerning how people are feeling.  Art, community, and all the higher human aspirations appear once people are satisfied with their lives and are living in the moment.  So without people having fun who cares about national product or indexes.  Isn't fun and other people what we are really all here for? 

Witnessing the Soul

Everything is happening automatically.  Choice exists only in the fleeting moment and can only be utilized to change the direction of our self and its desires.  Once the self is changed it operates autonomously until another change is made in the present.  We are not the doer but are rather witnessing the experience changer(soul) from an even higher perspective.  When one isn't changing experience consciously but is allowing their experience to change naturally as it progresses they are sitting outside the soul as a witness.  Most people never even become consciously aware of their soul's power to change their experience and live life like a plastic bag caught in an updraft.  Many homeless people live the life they do because it is the only life where the self(soul) can be free to transform experience according to its will by constantly traveling, using drugs, seeking food and comfort, and meeting new people.  Much of modern society prevents the soul from coming to prominence since people live in a state of comfortable apathy they never seek to change their experience.  To awaken the soul one must find their self in a disagreeable experience and will to change it.(Career change, kicking addiction, changing locales)  Once the soul is activated people  then seek to "come home" to non-duality which is achieved after a time once the self is completely understood and transcended.

Obsession versus Self-Realization

What keeps most people mired in worldly pursuits without ever paying heed to the spiritual side of life is obsession.  In order to better the self-consciousness one must train and better the organism holistically, body, heart, mind, and soul.  Most people's obsessions are a misdirected attempt to better their own consciousness by only heeding the desires of one part of their psyche.  Heeding one aspect of the self over all others always causes problems for the self.  For example, an alcoholic seeks happy emotions and escape from his mind while at the same time poisoning his mind and body.  A collector of objects amasses toys yet languishes in the areas of interpersonal relationships and personal growth. 
Because our society considers true self-infatuation narcissistic people divert their natural obsession to better themselves into activities society deems appropriate such as entertainment addiction(TV, internet, and videogames)  These single track obsessions do not serve to better the person as a whole spiritually.  There is nothing wrong with TV, alcohol, or collecting inherently but, pursued single mindedly they eventually lose their luster and begin to instill more unconscious compulsions in the self. 
If people could realize the futility of narrow-minded obsessions and would rather, seek to better their selves in every conceivable aspect then society would begin to spiritually grow.  Obviously those who amass wealth and power do not wish people to grow holistically but would always rather them pursue paths that lead to more purchasing and economic growth.

A Sufi Story

I once heard a sufi story about a man riding his donkey rapidly through a crowded city.  The man did not stop to greet any passerby and his face held an air of intense determination as he galloped through the city.  One man, a beggar, was fed up with seeing this strange man every few hours and resolved to figure out what the man was after.  The next time the man passed by the beggar jumped out in front of his donkey and yelled, "Stop!" The man stopped immediately.  The beggar asked, "What makes you gallop around this city everyday in such a hurry?"  The man with the donkey replied, "I'm looking for my donkey."

Often we are like the man and his donkey as we continue to seek that which is right underneath us.  Our experience.

Translator for Experience

Many people live as if their personal train of thought acts as the engine for experience when its operation is more akin to that of a translator.  If thinking stops experience doesn't stop.  One's thoughts are brought forth from what one perceives, yet, thoughts try to describe experience even though, because of their very essence, thoughts cannot encapsulate  true and full experience.  When one thinks endlessly it is as if one thinks in an attempt to explain and unravel the secret of existence.  The secret is that there is no secret to find, only more and more experience to be had.  The function of the mind is to translate this experience into a communicable form so it can be understood by other experience engines.(people)